To be authentic, I suppose I must not only include my victories in my journey with God, but I must also divulge the complete and utter failures as well. If I were to merely include all of the times I was what God wanted me to be, well this would be a rather thin Blog. I would probably post something every six or seven days!
Today was my day to take our wonderful little dog, Lucy, to get a few shots. We use a mobile veterinary service that doesn't cost very much, but you have to wait in line with a lot of other folks. Today was by Orchards Feed Mill and I found myself behind 10 other people waiting to have our dog looked at. I was in no mood to really interact with anyone, so I stayed off to the side by our car. I did not have some terrible look on my face that told people t stay away, it was more a general ignoring of everyone around me as to not interact with others. Don't act like you haven't done it.
A friendly man in his early to mid 60's was able to slip into my safety net and began to strike up a conversation. As disappointed as I was to have to acknowledge another human being I managed to make eye contact. It was at that very second that everything began to change. As my eyes drew up from the ground, his left hand immediately caught my eye. On top of the man's hand was what looked to be a purple blister approximately the size of a dime in diameter. Although odd, my eyes lifted still. When I got to his face, the large bandage on his left cheek was very noticeable. It was around six inches long and four inches wide. It obviously cover a large patch that was still barely bleeding. I knew it was skin cancer. No need to tell me. No need to ask. No need to get involved.
His friendly Santa Claus beard and random cuss words were actually quite charming. Have you ever had an older man drop a few "S" bombs, but since he's an old man it turns out to be kind of cute and nostalgic? That was this guy. Old school and hardened; yet friendly with inviting eyes. We spoke about our dogs for a bit and I was rather relieved that we did not dive into any really meaningful conversation. That was until he explained that he had been an Electrician for 41 years and had "never worn a hat" during that time. He stated that now, every time he went into the sun, he got terrible spots on his skin. The dodctor had removed one just yesterday to see if it was cancerous or not. My spirit cried out so loudly that it could not be ignored. "Pray for him" I could feel it like it was a real voice. I did not pray for him. As a matter of fact, I told myself that I wouldn't; no way, not now.
Relieved to be past the hard conversation, the man walked away for a bit. Much to my dismay however, he was back within minutes. He spoke more about his possible cancer and I pulled back even more within myself. I began wrestling and fighting the thing within myself begging me to pray for this man. Finally, he was called up and I got the break I so desperately longed for. But, they could not help his dog's particular condition, so he took the time to tell me about that on his way out. One last chance that I ignored and fought.
As I finished with Lucy and turned my car on, the Christian music station I had left it on was still playing. "If I speak God's word with power, but have not love..." You know how it goes. And God smacked me like a ton of bricks. I had the opportunity to show how much faith I had in God, but I managed to stay so selfish that I passed up the opportunity to pour into someone else's life. It would not have cost me anything. I had the time. Where would I go? It would not have cost me any money. It could have made more of a difference than money ever could. But, I did not. Faith without works is dead. It exists, but it is not doing anything. It's not breathing, living, making an impact. It is still faith, but no one see's the buried, dead and rotting faith. They will only see my living, breathing, loving faith.
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